My First Experience with HIIT

So.

I download Fitness Blender. GO ME.

I pass the baby off to the biggest child, and declare to all, "I am going to go exercise. Watch TV and don't bug me!"

They all agree with varying levels of enthusiasm.

I head upstairs and realize, oh. First, Ima need some support. It's been a month or more since I exercised. I had been treadmilling, but then got pneumonia, and then I was lazy. Digging through drawers and laundry baskets was necessary to find the proper clothing *aka, sports bra*.

Ok, so five minutes have passed since I declared I was "GOING TO GO EXERCISE."

At this point, three children have already come upstairs to goggle.

"Are you going on your treadmill?"
"Are you going to wear your pajamas?"
"What kind of exercise?"

I answered each of them with the compassion and love any angel mother would, "No, go away, I'm going to exercise!"

Finally, I pulled out the big guns and LOCKED MY DOOR.

All right, so this cute little thin, super fit lady is on my phone screen. I briefly debated downloading the app to my iPad, but ultimately decided not to take the time to go down the rabbit hole of forgotten passwords, and the app store.

Anyway back to the tiny woman on my tiny phone screen. I hit play and we GET TO WERK.

Thirty second later, I'm kinda sweaty and there is a gentle, but constant tapping on my door.

"ARG! WHAT?" I snap pausing the workout and angrily unlocking my door.

"Um," says a contrite Spencer. "Henry was wondering if he could have your computer." Ah, the eldest, in all his wisdom sent his brother into the beast's lair.

"No! He is supposed to be keeping Beatrice happy. Go watch TV. I'm TRYING TO EXERCISE!"

Snap goes the door. Click goes the lock.

I hit play again, and the little woman continues bouncing and doing all the things. I do them with her, grateful that the HIIT aspect means that like every 30 seconds I get a "break" meaning I can walk in place instead of jumping about. Walking is good.

Two minutes pass, and a hysterical Freddy is at my door. I don't even ask, I just unlock the door and he sobs his way to my bed, where he stops crying and watches me with fascination.

Three minutes later, the tiny woman on my tiny screen on my tiny phone goes, "PHEW! You know it's going to be a good workout when the WARM UP is making me winded."

Wait. What?

THIS IS JUST THE WARM UP?

Oh no. No. H-E-C-K (I'm trying to be good and not swear) NO.

I am going to DIE, and this is just the WARM UP.

DOES SHE NOT KNOW THAT I AM DYING? CAN SHE NOT SEE THAT I HAVE SEVEN CHILDREN WHO ALL BUG ME CONSTANTLY?

I AM TRYING TO EXERCISE!

WARM UP BE DARNED! (See, I'm being good!)

So, I fast-forward her skinny butt until I get to the REAL DEAL.

The REAL DEAL was MORE jumping, lunging, squatting, kicking, side-steping, cycle crunches and I don't even know what else.

Ezra comes crying to me, "OLIVER STOLE THE NERF DART AND..."

"NO!" I cry, after angrily pausing my super awesome workout AGAIN!

(It must be sidenoted that we have MANY Nerf guns and exactly ONE dart. You can imagine how well this works.)

"GO WATCH TV! I'M TRYING TO EXERCISE!"

He begrudgingly complies. Well, he went away, so who knows what happened after that?

Back at it. We're doing some sort of hop-step thing now. The girl in charge on my phone is like, totally out of breath. I quit breathing entirely, I'm pretty sure.

At some point in my haze, Miriam came upstairs screaming and crying because SOMEONE hit some part of her body.

"NO!" I cry, not bothering to pause Miss Skinny Workout girl. It's ride or die time people. RIDE or DIE.

"Just lay in my bed Miriam. I am TRYING TO EXERCISE."

She demurely complies and proceeds to watch me shuffle around like a dying T-Rex, trying to reach her toes. THEY ARE SO FAR AWAY.

Finally, my enthusiasm has waned, and I can't even pretend. I've gone from the "high impact" to the "low-impact modifications" that Miss Workout Queen has suggested to just straight up trudging in place. Ya'll I can't even call it walking in place. I was sort of sliding my feet from one spot to another.

I'm sweaty.

EVERY child of mine has come complaining at some point.

I can hear Beatrice hollering in protest. I'm done. I'm beat, I'm spent.

Surely, I have burned ALL THE CALORIES. My six-pack is well underway. I am AMAZING.

I HAVE EXERCISED.

I pause little Miss Tiny Tushie, and see the truth. Subtracting the WARM-UP *curse you warm up* that I skipped, I have managed to work out for twelve minutes.

Twelve.

Which is two more than I was expecting.

Go.Me.

Until tomorrow Miss Tiny Arms. Until tomorrow.

Our Thoughts and Prayers are Not Enough.

I saw someone upset yesterday about...wait for it..."prayer-shaming" on Facebook.

We have officially gone over the edge of reason. We are now free-falling as a nation into the utter abyss of "beyond ridiculous."

See, the offense being taken is caused by someone else suggesting that thoughts and prayers are USELESS in times of horror and unspeakable tragedy.

 "How dare you tell me not to say that my prayers are with the victims!" the article cried. "Prayer is all I have!"

"No! Prayer is useless. It's a stupid, archaic practice that yields zero results!" the retort is.

 Well. I think it's inexcusable to create divisiveness over people's lives--lives that were lost, and the loved ones they left behind, damaged.

Stop it. Everyone just stop.

Let's do this instead: Let's pray.

Let's pray with our whole hearts.

Yes, let's pray for the victims' families, who's hearts will never heal.

 Let's pray for our leaders and law enforcement, and military that they can be protected, led, and that they will be strong, honest women and men.

Then, let's pray like we've never prayed before to be LED to ACTION.

 It is not enough to pray.

 Scripturally, we know this is true. Moroni 7:48 demands, "Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen."

 Pray with everything we have in us not just for others, but that we can be the ANSWER to someone else's prayer.

 How can we as followers of Jesus Christ BE the change? We must work at it.

We must give until we can't give anymore.

We must put more energy into healing than hurting.

 Know your neighbors. Meet them, befriend them, truly care about them.

 Assume the BEST in people. Yes, they may hurt you, but don't let that stop you.

Help the person on the street. Buy them a sandwich, give them a dollar.

 VOTE! Vote your conscience.

 Smile at people.

Be kind to cashiers, public service workers, nurses, police, everyone you meet.

Get past your own prejudices. Pray that you can be shown your own ignorance and then make an honest effort to erase it. Let Christ make you a better person.

 Pay tithes and offerings.

 Give to charities doing honest, important work.

 Teach your children to love others with all the energy that they possess.

Show them how through your own service to them, and to others.

Love people with more than your words. Love them in action.

Get out of yourself, your own busyness, and help.

 Practice the "Thumper rule" in real life and on social media. (What's the Thumper rule? "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all.")

Don't engage in petty, online contests of who is the most correct, politically, socially or religiously. Just don't do it.

 I'm fairly convinced that if we truly practice what we preach, we can heal people, even those not of our own faith.

The more that we LIVE what we BELIEVE then the more kindness there will be in the world. No, we can not solve the world's problems exclusively through living the truth we know, but my goodness, what if you could prevent someones pain? Even just a little bit? Wouldn't you do it, if you knew it would help someone?

 I am far from perfect at these things. But I'm trying to live the gospel. Actually LIVE it.

 I think one of the things that bothers non-Christians about us is that we can sometimes come across as "all talk" with no action to back it up. So, while we SAY "Love one another" we appear (despite our best intentions) to not be doing that.

In fact, Isaiah warned of this very thing millenia ago. "Wherefore the Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with the lips do honor me, but have removed their heart far from me..." Isaiah 29:13.

 We are all hypocrites by nature. We sin constantly even though we know better, right? But! Let's try a little harder to be a little less hypocritical. We need kindness and love in the world as badly as we need air.

Thomas S. Monson taught, "Actually, love is the very essence of the gospel, and Jesus Christ is our Exemplar. His life was a legacy of love. The sick He healed; the downtrodden He lifted; the sinner He saved. At the end the angry mob took His life. And yet there rings from Golgotha’s hill the words: “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do”—a crowning expression in mortality of compassion and love."

 Christ as our perfect brother, taught us how to be through his words AND his deeds. So, let's pray with all the energy of our hearts, and then let's GET TO WORK to make the world better.

 No, you may not prevent a deranged madman's crimes, but you might.

 You just actually might.

I am a Prodigal Child

No matter what, no matter how hard I try, I am a prodigal daughter. I can't follow perfectly, I am NOT the older son, who never transgressed a single time. 

Simply put, I am prone to wander. 

And I think, deep down, in our core's every single one of us indeed a prodigal child of God. It doesn't matter how much we want to be perfect. We aren't. We all stray. 

Amazing, isn't it, though, that proverbially, every single time we stray, we are able to return home, and let the fatted calf be killed in our honor. Our Savior's sacrifice allows us to celebrate the little returns home, when humble ourselves enough to admit that we've screwed up. 

I can't pretend that maybe it would be better if I were the older son, my only transgression being righteous indignation at the sins of another, perhaps... 

But I am not. I will never be that good. Not in this life, not without the inheritance Christ has promised. 

 It's pretty easy to assume that is the better course. Perfection is the goal, right? 

Turns out though, that I don't actually WANT to be that older brother. Nope. Not really anyway.

What I think is more important, is to be humble, to be determined to get back home again, even if we wander. I think when we're at our lowest, wallowing with pigs, that we most want to find the light. 

As the hymn, "Come Thou Fount" says, 

"Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God, I love.

Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above" 

If we give our hearts to Christ, then even when we wander a bit, even if we get very very far off course, leave the God we love so dearly, we are never too far to come home. Even if we willingly rebel. We can still come home. It's not too late. Ever. 

Think of Alma the Younger. He was so far off the path, that he took great glee in leading others purposefully AWAY from God. That's SUPER bad. You would have to try to be that bad. 

And yet, through Christ's atonement, Alma received forgiveness! Despite what he had done, his heart ultimately was sealed in Christ's courts above. 

As it says, in Luke 15:32, "It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found." 

We are all lost, we are all dead, and made alive again, over and over and over through Christ. Each time we turn to Him and say, "I screwed up again, same as last time, and I'm really sorry. I really do want to be better," we're made alive, we're saved, over and over. 

I am the prodigal daughter of a kind, benevolent Father who simply wants me to come home. 

I am the prodigal sister of a Savior who's love and sacrifice are so deep and infinite that it is beyond comprehension. 

And it turns out, that I'm okay with that. Me and my imperfections will just have to try harder tomorrow to return home. 

Please, dear friend, don't let the fact that you too are prone to wander, that you might have weakness that you wish you didn't, or even sins that you kind of like, keep you from home. Don't give up. Keep on heading toward home. 

It'll be worth it. 

When Life is Unfair

Sometimes, life is unspeakably unfair.

One of my  piano students said to me the other day, "The only fair thing about life is that it's unfair to everyone."  Wise words from a twelve year old.

And I've thought of that a lot since she said it. Who doesn't have trials and difficulties? Who's heart hasn't been broken?

It's life. It's messy, it hurts so much that it seems to be too much to bear at times.

It's unfair.

Linda Burton, relief society general president said, " Heavenly Father … sent His Only Begotten and perfect Son to suffer for our sins, our heartaches, and all that seems unfair in our own individual lives.:

Christ didn't just suffer for the sins of the world, but for all the unfairness.

For Christ is the great mediator of it all. To mediate in this case means to "bring about." Christ brings about a lot of things: peace, comfort, salvation, grace, love, miracles, and hope.

But He also brings about mercy; mercy that outstrips the unfairness in life.

Life is hideously unfair, but through Christ's great and eternal atonement, that unfairness is washed away into grace, forgiveness, comfort and peace.

There can be mediation between us and the pains of the word. Christ is our intercessor between all that is awful and all that is good. 1 Timothy 2:5 reminds us, "For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;". He is a buffer, a protector, a friend.

We have no chance on our own to reach the goodness and perfection promised in the next life. NONE. The only way to get there is through Christ. And thank goodness that He is there, to soothe the hurt, comfort us and bind up our wounds, even when it is all terribly unfair.

So don't despair. Don't give up. Keep going. Every day.  Turn it over to Christ, even in the moments where it seems it will never get better.

I'll try to do the same.

When God is Silent

Psalm 143:1 Hear my prayer, O Lord, give ear to my supplications: in thy faithfulness answer me, and in thy righteousness.

Have you ever felt that your prayers were literally going unanswered? Despite your pleas, despite your faith, and righteous desire, you still do not hear or feel the inspiration, the answer that you feel you need? That you deserve?

I have been wrestling with this exact issue in my life of late.

I wanted an answer gosh darn it. Frankly, with the current trial, I wanted a bunch of answers.

And so I turned to scriptures, to prayer, to music, to all sorts of gospel mediums to try and seek the pathway we (as in myself, my husband and our family) should go.

As I turned my gaze heavenward over and over, it was very quiet.

Much quieter than I wanted.

I wanted some overwhelming conviction of what we were supposed to do.

And yet, the crickets chirped.

Nothing.

For weeks this went on.

WEEKS.

Until, one day, something shifted in my own heart and mind.

It occurred to me that despite study, prayer, etc, I wasn't actually doing my part. I wasn't acting.

"TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" wasn't going to get me anywhere.

Think of the Brother of Jared, when he went to the Lord with very legitimate and big problems, the Lord provided SOME of the answers but He also required the Brother of Jared to do some leg-work too.

 Ether 2:25 And behold, I prepare you against these things; for ye cannot cross this great deep save I prepare you against the waves of the sea, and the winds which have gone forth, and the floods which shall come. Therefore what will ye that I should prepare for you that ye may have light when ye are swallowed up in the depths of the sea?

What WILL YE that I should prepare...

In other words, "What are you going to do about, Mahonri?"

In this case, God expected His child to use the intellect he had to figure it out.

God can do anything, anything that we ask. Sometimes He says no, and sometimes He says yes.

Sometimes, He says nothing.

Crickets. Nothing.

Richard G. Scott said, "When he withholds an answer, it is to have grow through faith in Him, obedience to His commandments, and a willingness to act on truth. We are expected to assume accountability by acting on a decision that is consistent with His teachings without prior confirmation. We are not to sit passively waiting or to murmur because the Lord has not spoken. We are to act."

This simple, profound truth can be TERRIFYING.

Just act.

Just do it.

Do what is right, let the consequence follow.

Use prior knowledge, insight, gospel truths and your own intellect to make a choice and move forward.

Scariest thing in the world.

Yet, it is also incredibly freeing, to say, "Lord, I am trying to have faith. I'm going to go ahead with this. Help it all be okay. Help ME be okay with whatever comes."

"Come what may and love it." 

So, maybe God is choosing to be silent.

Isn't it amazing?

His silence is proof to you of HIS ultimate faith in YOU. He knows you well enough to know that you will not fail Him.

He trusts in YOU as you trust in Him.

God's silence is His faith in His child.

So have faith in Him as He has faith in you.

You'll find the quiet a lot less terrifying.

A Lesson From A Goat

My life is strange. I have these goats. They are funny creatures, who are mainly tasked with mowing the lawn. They do an EXCELLENT job, as I have not used the lawn mower since July. LOVE that.

Our goats though tend to prefer to aim higher than merely grass. I had to fence in my poor abused peach tree babies because the goats were nuts for their leaves. The fuzzy peaches held no fascination and were all quickly wasted and knocked to the ground.

Any small sapling or low hanging branch is for their taking. And if it's tall or hard to reach, they will still try, often using one another to stack themselves a bit taller to reach.

It's funny, and obnoxious all at the same time.

They are determined to reach higher.

They are not hungry, there is a plethora, a feast even upon the ground and yet those delectable leaves, the ones that at first glance seem out of reach are irresistible to them.

This afternoon, my kids came in to report that Sally, the most determined of the trio had climbed the ladder left propped next to a shed-in-progress that Derek is working on. She had done so in order to get to the brilliant red maples leaves completely out of reach. Sure, she could eat the ones that had fallen to the ground, but the ones up higher were just so much better.

Practicing Perfection 2013

And you know, I have been thinking about the applications of that darn goat-on-the-roof situation all afternoon.

Here is what I have concluded:

It is so important to be happy with all we have, to be content and grateful for that which the Lord has given us.

But.

We also always need to be aiming higher. How can we practice perfection and eternal progression if we're stagnant?

Be grateful for the lengths and strides you've made, do not wallow in the imperfections, but always always be working hard to achieve the potential that the Lord has in mind for you. 

The famous Billy Graham said, "Being a Christian is more than just an instantaneous conversion- it is a daily process whereby you grow to be more and more like Christ." 

Don't get complacent, don't get discouraged. Be thankful, and prayerful and keep moving upward, reaching for the heights God wants you to reach. 

You got this! 

How To Draw Nearer To Christ-- Putting it All Together

Photo source

There are as many ways to have a relationship with Jesus Christ as their are people. Everyone experiences spiritual promptings differently. Everyone approaches the Savior differently. However, there are some eternal, simple truths.

1. Christ stands at the door, knocking. All YOU have to do is answer. 
    "Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me." (Revelation 3:20)

2. Christ in your life brings peace and joy. 
    "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." (Luke 2:14)

3. Jesus is in and can be invited into every good thing in our lives. 
    "But behold, that which is of God inviteth and enticeth to do good continually; wherefore, every thing which inviteth and enticeth to do good, and to love God, and to serve him, is inspired of God." (Moroni 7:12)

4. Let the Savior be a part of your everyday life, through the Holy Ghost's influence. 
   "But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you." (John 14:26)

If you are reading, praying and allowing Christ into every aspect of your life, your relationship with Him will be strengthened. You'll be nearer to Him, and in turn, you'll allow His presence and influence to be more fully experienced every single day. Turn to Him. Talk to Him. Thank Him and recommit yourself each week to be more like Him. Then, when you screw up, repent, and be ever grateful for His grace and atonement through which, you are slowly being refined into the version of yourself that Christ already, always sees.

Happy Friday!

“Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.” 

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Airman's Odyssey: Night Flight / Wind Sand and Stars / Flight to Arra

When you look at this quote from a gospel perspective, it takes on a whole new meaning. Nothing left to take away... we will be perfected and eternal in the next life. There will be nothing to take away, only perfection upon eternal progression. What an awesome thought!

In this life though, as they say nothing is final until you're dead, so can we ever be perfect? Not so much. Our job now is to simply keep swimming. 

So, to send you into your weekend with good cheer, don't give up. Keep getting a little better each day.