Excerpt from PRACTICING PERFECTION, Chapter Four, Perfection Within the Church

Chapter Four: Perfection Within the Church

“I have a sister who no longer attends church. One of the excuses she gave me was because she felt like we expected too much of people when being perfect wasn't possible. That really got me thinking about what it is. The concept of perfectionism is a difficult one to understand. Why should we strive to attain something that we know isn't possible? Yes, we probably won't achieve perfection, but striving for perfection gets us so much farther along than throwing our hands up in the air and just demanding that it's not possible. We are asked to strive to be perfect, not to reach perfection. There is a big difference. Once I figured this out I understood the pressure much better and it made it much easier to deal with!” ~Amy~

 “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:48).  Jesus didn’t charge us with trying to keep up with everyone else’s assumed or observed spiritual perfection.

Yet, so often within the world of the church, we find ourselves comparing, contrasting, wondering what she has that I don’t, wishing we could be as spiritual as that person, or that person.

While the gospel is a beautiful and simple gift, it can very difficult in the church (as in our ward families, stakes, or even neighborhoods, depending on your address) to remember that we are all experiencing the simplicity of the gospel in our own special, personal way.

As discussed in the social media chapter, when we find ourselves looking outward, and judging, we easily can become discontent with what we do have.

“Judging? I’m not judging.”

Yes you are. Even if your view of the person whom you are looking at is positive, you are still judging.

In the world full of “tolerate this, don’t judge me, I’m doing right by me,” we have begun conditioning ourselves to think, “I feel a certain way about something but that doesn’t mean I’m judging.” After all, in Matthew, right before Christ reminds up about the whole beam/mote scenario, he says, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

So, instead of “judging not,” we do judge, try to act like we’re not, and then in turn are judged by others. It’s just a cycle.

Let’s look at it in a less literal way, and use the rest of the chapter to give us some guidance. After Christ says not to judge, he reminds us that our own issues are of real concern and no one else’s should we be worried about. Then, in verse 5 he tells us all to not be hypocrites.

Ah, there it is. The key word. “Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother's eye.” (Matthew 7:5)

Don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t judge.

All right. It is super easy to just say “Stop judging”. There, I just said it. But to actually practice it? Well. That is a whole other ball game. 

Excerpt from Chapter One, Practicing Perfection

As women, we are the experts at guilt, self-deprecation, anti-ego, and well, all things that we deem as humility, but are in fact, just slandering ourselves against the talents and abilities with which we have been richly blessed. Satan, that dastardly father of all lies wants you to believe these things. He wants you to think that your neighbor is better in all aspects because her lawn is green and beautiful, while yours is bit scraggly. He wants you to care deeply what others think, and feel stunted and worthless when you believe yourself to be less than them. He wants to use the very things you've been blessed with as tools to drag you down. He will continually knock you down, make you feel stupid, fat, poor and useless.

And we so very often let him. Oh my friend. We let him more than we even realize. Every single day in our pathway to perfection, we allow Satan to tell us how much we stink. Far too often, when he hisses in our ears that we shouldn't bother because we’re just going to fail anyway, we believe him. We believe him, and we revel and wallow in our unholiness.

Now see here, I don’t mean to tell you that you’re bad! No indeed. In fact, for someone who despises the light so very much, Satan spends a great deal of time hanging out with those who try to be the most full of light. Wallowing in darkness of the truly evil isn't that much fun. In those cases, Satan has already won. The most evil and vile of things are Satan’s trophies. He likes to visit them and pat himself on the back for winning most thoroughly. But like a true competitor (Satan is absolutely a competitor), a trophy room isn't enough. He needs to be always adding to his collection. So he sneaks into the lightest of places, where Christ is invited to dwell, and pulls at those who despise evil and love light. He tells them they ought to stop bothering because they’ll never be good enough anyway. Then he glories in our defeat, as we hurt, and ache and wish we were more. 

It doesn't take much-- just a nudge to send us in the wrong direction. Regardless of our life experiences, and so much knowledge and confirmation from the Lord that we are good, that we are worthy, and that perfection is an eternal pursuit, we allow the snake to tell us otherwise.This does not please our Father. He doesn't want us to waste time wallowing in self-pity and despair. Remember the famous moment in Anne of Green Gables, when good, stalwart Marilla Cuthbert tells Anne that “To despair is to turn your back on God.” She is so very right.  Despair means that we cannot be saved, that we can be brought back up again. God wants you, in your moment of self-doubt and jealous observation of someone else’s perfection to stop, to pray, to seek the comfort from the Holy Ghost with whom you have a personal confidence, and remember who you are.

Oh my dear sister, remember who you are.